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GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE
•
SEPTEMBER 2, 1994
BOOKS
An evocative social history of late 1980's San Francisco
Family Values
A Lesbian Mother's
Fight for Her Son
by Phyllis Burke Vintage, $11.00 paper
reviewed by Timothy Robson
Family Values won the 1994 American Library Association's Gay and Lesbian Book Award for nonfiction. First published last year, the book was issued in paperback in June. I was present for the ALA book award ceremony and had the opportunity to hear Phyllis Burke read from her work. I had passed up the book in hardcover, but the author's excerpt was enough to tempt me to read the whole thing. I'm glad I did, and I
recommend it. It is a touching, but often hilarious, account of a mother's love for her child, and the almost accidental political activity she engages in in her fight to adopt him.
The title (which I had found off-putting) is something of a misnomer. The framing event of the book is Phyllis Burke's fight to legally adopt her partner's son. The strongest parts of the book, however, are Burke's evocative social history of late-1980's San Francisco.
Particularly fascinating are her "insider" stories of Queer Nation San Francisco and their highly publicized battle against the producers of the film Basic Instinct. As a queer journalist, Burke participated in many of the actions, but remained detached enough to describe them with a good bit of tongue-in-
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cheek humor. She seems actually to enjoy her political activities and to find the cast of characters entertaining.
Although the adoption moved forward quite smoothly, one suspects that publisher Random House found "a lesbian mother's fight for her son" considerably more palatable than "dyke pickets malls and movie producers," when in fact the book contains much more of the latter than the former. (It is fascinating to compare Phyllis Burke's descriptions of the San Francisco Queer Nation activities with descriptions of some of the same events in Frank Browning's The Culture of Desire [Vintage, $11.00], published at about the same time, and also recently reprinted in paper.)
A highlight of the book is Burke's recounting of the preparations for the home visit by Priscilla Judkins, the social worker charged with determining Burke's fitness as a parent to adopt son Jesse. Everything the least bit questionable or controversial went into the closet: "When in doubt, take it out." "I found myself looking at my heating pad," Burke writes, "and wondering if it could have some negative implication. I couldn't decide, so when in doubt..." Goldfish in the bowl were okay; the toy coffeepot and coffee set had to go. Too femme. Peter Rabbit was okay. Madeline went into the closet. Her advice to herself: "Dull, Phyllis. Be dull. Be one with dullness." This from a
woman who is best friends with Gilbert Baker, creator of the rainbow flag, but also known as Pink Jesus for one of his more notorious public costumes.
The social worker recommends against the adoption, but the judge-remember, this is San Francisco-grants it anyway. The book ends with a touching letter to Jesse from Mama Phyllis:
"Sometimes it's hard to talk about private things in a very public way, and I hope it's okay with you, when you get to be grown, that I wrote about you. You see, there are six million children in this country who have lesbian moms, and most of them aren't as lucky as our family. Many of those mothers can't say anything about it, or their children might be taken away from them. And a lot of those children feel ashamed of their moms because the only thing they hear is that being lesbian is bad. It's very hard to hear that the person you love the most is bad, even if it's not true...
"At the end of Peter Pan, as you well know, the Darling children want to go home, and they are sure that their mother will have left the window open for them so that they can fly right into the nursery. Peter is not so sure about that, though. You might remember, he thinks mothers are highly overrated. So I want you to tell Peter, should he ask you. that Mama Cher and I will always have the window open. Always."
ASK RICK AND ROGER
A new look without squeaks
by Rick and Roger Bailey
Rick and Roger Bailey, owners of RMBailey Company Interiors, have worked
in the Columbus area for ten years. They will answer readers' questions on do-it-yourself home remodeling projects for just about anything needing to be done in the home. Send questions on old houses or new ones to Rick and Roger, P.O. Box 12235, Columbus 43212, or e-mail to chronohio@aol.com.
0..
Dear Rick and Roger,
I live in an old home in Upper Arlington and have had squeaky floors since day one. What are some various methods to get this annoying noise to stop.
Dear Squeaky,
Squeaky
We suggest not walking on the squeaky areas. (Just kidding.) A lot of people have this problem in old and new homes. If you have basement space under the area that makes noise it will be easy to fix. You can buy wood wedges from almost any hardware store or lumber yard. Get these, and with a hammer, drive a wedge or two between the floor joist and the subfloor closest to the problem area as possible.
If this doesn't help, you can cut a two-byfour board to fit between the floor joists, flat against the subfloor and then drive your wedges in above this board. If you have no basement and the squeak is beneath a carpeted room you can pull the carpet back, and drive some nails through the subfloor in various areas. Be sure and hit a floor joist when nailing to be sure to secure the noisy subfloor.
If you have bothersome steps, the same applies here for carpeted surface or wood surface. If the steps are solid wood it may be necessary to secure with recessed screws, fill, and refinish.
Dear Rick and Roger,
I want to give my medium-size living room a whole new look. I planned to order new
window coverings but am not sure what needs done for my small square windows. I would like to change the lighting, paint or wallpaper, and need some tips on how to improve the look of my hardwood floors. I like my furniture, but need help with arranging. I have a fireplace in the room and two openings which lead off to the kitchen and bedrooms. Can you help?
Dear Perplexa,
Perplexa
It sounds like you could have a great room so, in a few short words, we'll try and solve all your problems. Get window covering that make the room seen taller, for instance make cornices out of plywood framing upholstered with the fabric of your choice. Install the cornice high above the window and have your draperies come down to the floor, keeping the whole treatment as thin as possible. This will give a heightened-ceiling effect. If you are totally remodeling, the best lighting for a fireplace and to set a good mood are recessed "can" lights, the smaller the better, and as many as you can handle. Lamps on a dimmer switch are also a good touch.
To make a medium-size room seem larger, use vertical striped wall coverings or painting techniques. You can easily do vertical stripes with paint by taping off the desired width and using customized shades of color to coordinate exactly with your room, i.e. with your window covering or furniture. If the room is large enough, create a cozy space around the fireplace with two chairs and have the sofa offset to provide an interesting traffic pattern.
My best experience with hardwood floors is area rugs. The best and least expensive way to create customized looking area rugs in the size of your choice is to visit your nearest carpeting retailer. You can then choice the size and have a "bordered" rug constructed by the retailer in any color or texture you want. They can easily have the edges bound and apply various types of fringe or tassels depending on the look you want to achieve.
I love new rooms and I hope all of this is exciting for you. Good Luck!